When our world comes crashing in with depression, stress and anxiety, it can feel like there’s no hope, that we’re somehow beyond help and alone. Don’t believe it. Although it feels like it, you're not alone and there is hope.
Let’s look at depression, stress and anxiety for a moment.
Depression usually feels heavy, it’s like a cloud of sadness and hopelessness around you. There's a lack of interest in activities that we once enjoyed. It feels like we’re walking around in a fog and our bodies can feel heavy and therefore our energy levels change. With that there can be difficulty concentrating or making decisions. We feel like withdrawing from social interactions, which leads to increased feelings of loneliness and worthlessness.
Stress is a response to challenging and demanding situations that often require immediate attention. They are usually a ‘to do’ list of things that continue to pile on and overwhelm us. We end up feeling tense, pressured, racked with indecision, irritability and mood swings. Unable to think clearly, we are on the edge of our temper at all times. The smallest things turn into a big issue very quickly.
Where stress is generally seen as a build up on past and present events, anxiety manifests as excessive worry, fear, or apprehension about future events or situations. Anxiety can lead to physical symptoms like restlessness, rapid heartbeat, and difficulty concentrating. It can create a sense of being constantly on edge or fearful, which can contribute to feelings of being out of control and that no one understands us. At worst it can lead to worsening symptoms similar to that of a panic attack.
Depression, stress, and anxiety are all separate mental health conditions, however they can share certain symptoms. Experiencing these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean an individual has all three conditions, but there can be an overlap. It’s an awful place to be in, the pain is debilitating on the inside and often we don’t realise just how much unhelpful psychological weight we’re carrying until we experience one of these symptoms. Here are the main ones that I’ve noticed in myself and others:
Difficulty Concentrating: Racing thoughts, mind wandering, an inability to focus on tasks.
Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing restless sleep.
Changes in Appetite: Both an increase and decrease in appetite can occur. Some of us may experience a loss of appetite and weight loss, while others may have increased cravings leading to weight gain.
Physical Symptoms: These might include headaches, muscle tension, stomach problems, fatigue, heart rate changes, general bodily discomfort and heaviness without an identifiable cause.
Irritability: Increased irritability, mood swings, or a decreased tolerance and more frustration in things not going our way.
Emotional Distress: Feelings of sadness, unease, hopelessness or a general sense of being overwhelmed emotionally. This fuels the feeling of being alone and no one possibly understanding.
Avoidance: Avoiding social situations, work tasks, or activities we once enjoyed. Either due to believing we’re not wanted or not having the motivation to participate in any way.
Most of us have experienced these symptoms in some form. Naturally some of these are quite general and we would normally experience these regularly in passing because life can be challenging. However, when it becomes detrimental to ourselves and others, we need to look at it a bit closer.
Sometimes, the last thing we have is the energy to do anything about making ourselves better. Everything can become tedious and annoying. However, we must try since it's possible to change things relatively quickly. Here are some ways we can try below:
Spending Time Alone: The last thing you may want to do after feeling alone, but it is essential to take some time to identify what you're feeling, physically and mentally - and where the problems are. Doing that will inform your next decision.
Support Networks: Connecting with others who understand or have experienced similar struggles can be hugely beneficial. Support groups provide a platform to share experiences and gain support from individuals facing similar challenges.
Friends and Family: It might not always be possible, but if you feel comfortable trying to speak to loved ones about how you’re feeling, it’s worth a shot. A support network of some kind, especially with people that already care about you is important. You may be surprised at who else is silently suffering too.
GP/Emergency: It's important to consult a healthcare professional for a proper assessment and guidance if you feel like your feelings and symptoms have immediacy or if you have thoughts of self harm or harm to others. Link here to some Mental Health Services that can help: Urgent Mental Health Help
Professional Support: Seeking help from mental health professionals such as counsellors and therapists for guidance and support. Therapy can assist in identifying the root causes of anxiety and depression while offering coping mechanisms and strategies to manage these emotions and therefore live the life that you want.
Self Care: Engaging in self care activities such as regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, practising mindfulness or meditation, and pursuing hobbies can help alleviate symptoms. As we know, these activities can improve mood and reduce feelings of loneliness. Simply getting outside for a walk has immense benefits to our body, mind and soul.
Why do we feel like this in the first place? It can very much be a ‘piling on’ on unresolved issues that can go back years, or even picked up subconsciously from people around us, culture and media. It’s not just our food and drink that helps to nourish our body, mind and spirit, it's everything else that we take on mentally too. Here are some things I’ve noticed with myself and others that can circle around us feeling low:
Negative Content: Repeated and continuous exposure to violence, pessimism and unhelpful thinking in person, on tv, radio, video games, discussions etc can have an effect on us. Naturally, this is part of everyday life, as is positive. However, somewhat like our memories, the content we are exposed to lean towards negative bias. A constant stream of doom ridden information without breaks can (naturally) lead to heightened feelings of fear. This can also seep into our negative self talk and we don't always consciously realise it, which is harmful.
Pressure to Conform: Cultural norms and societal pressures depicted can create a sense of pressure to conform to certain standards. Whether it's related to success, appearance, relationships, or lifestyle choices, this pressure to conform can lead to those horribly inadequate feelings of not being good enough. This becomes a silent battle within that we're often unaware of until it's too late. Sadly this is often normalised too but on the plus side, many more voices are using social media for good to speak up and get these issues out in the light of day.
Bullying: Either in person or on social media platforms and online spaces. Negative interactions, hateful comments and actions, can profoundly affect mental health as we know.
Information Overload: The constant influx of information - both positive and negative, from various media sources can lead to information overload and mental exhaustion. Trying to keep up with news, social media updates, and the vast array of content available can be too much.
Life Events: Traumatic life events, major life changes, chronic stress, or ongoing difficult situations like abuse, financial problems, or relationship issues can trigger or exacerbate how we’re feeling and coping.
Substance Abuse: Substance abuse or excessive use of alcohol and drugs can increase the risk of developing depression or anxiety disorders. You can find a huge amount of resources for help here: Drug and alcohol addition If in any doubt seek out help here: Mental Health Help
Naturally some medical conditions, medications and genetics may contribute to low feelings too, it’s always best to consult a medical expert about this. Everyone may be unique, but not beyond asking for help and having another human there for support in some form.
Feeling better during and after depression, stress and anxiety is a process which may take time. Each person's journey is unique, and setbacks can occur. The healing path isn’t linear as we know, clients of mine recognise this image from my wall. However, with persistence, support, and appropriate work through it, many individuals do obtain tools of how to live with it and it is possible to and go on to live a fulfilling, productive life which no doubt will continue to have challenges. Remember that you’re not alone. Reach out and get in touch with someone who is waiting to help and guide.
